Unity Ceremony Ideas: Sand, Candle, Handfasting and How to Choose One

A unity ceremony is a short ritual inside your wedding, usually two to five minutes, where the two of you do something with your hands to mark two lives becoming one household. The most popular unity ceremony ideas are a sand pouring, a unity candle, handfasting, a wine box, and a tree planting. Here is what each one involves and how to choose.

You do not need one. Plenty of ceremonies go straight from the rings to the kiss and lose nothing. But if you want a moment that is quieter than the words around it, these are the rituals we see most after marrying more than 1,200 couples around Augusta.

What are the most popular unity ceremony ideas?

Sand ceremony

Each of you pours a different color of sand into one vessel. The colors layer and mix and cannot be sorted back out, which is the point. Sand is an easy choice outdoors because sun and a light breeze do not bother it much, and you go home with a keepsake. Pick a vessel with a wide mouth and a lid.

Unity candle

Two small candles light one larger one. Often a parent from each side lights the small candles at the start of the ceremony. It is lovely indoors. Outdoors, even a light breeze can blow it out at the worst moment, so use a glass cover or pick something else. Ask your venue about open flame before you buy anything.

Handfasting

Your hands are joined and a cord or ribbon is wrapped around them while the officiant speaks. The custom has old Celtic roots and needs almost no equipment. It works in any weather, photographs well, and the cord goes home with you. Some couples braid cords in colors that mean something to their families.

Wine box or letter box

Before the wedding you each write the other a letter. During the ceremony you seal both letters in a box, often with a bottle of wine, to be opened on an anniversary you choose. It suits couples who say things better on paper than out loud.

Tree planting

Together you add soil to a potted sapling and water it, sometimes with soil brought from each family's home. After the wedding it goes in your yard. Keep it in a pot for the ceremony, and ask a local nursery what will do well where you live.

What are some less common unity rituals?

Some of the most meaningful unity ceremony ideas come from a family's own heritage instead of a wedding shop.

• Ring warming: your rings are passed among the guests, each holding them for a moment, before you exchange them. This works with a small group.

• Lazo and arras: in many Hispanic and Filipino weddings, sponsors drape a cord or large rosary around the couple's shoulders, and thirteen coins are given as part of the ceremony.

• Jumping the broom: a tradition with deep roots in Black American weddings, done at the very end, just before you walk back up the aisle.

• A family version of any ritual, where children add sand, hold the cord, or help with the soil.

If your family has a tradition of its own, tell us about it. Our team is bilingual and performs ceremonies in English and Spanish, and a ritual explained in both languages lets every guest follow along.

How do you choose a unity ceremony?

Start with where you will be standing. Most unity ceremony ideas work indoors. Outside, flame is risky and loose items blow over. Then ask who should be part of it. Sand and tree planting welcome children. Handfasting and the wine box keep the focus on the two of you.

Think about what you want to keep. A jar of sand, a knotted cord, and a box of letters all last. A candle mostly does not. And be honest about your nerves. If your hands shake, pouring sand is forgiving. Lighting a wick with a hundred people watching is less so.

Last, pick the one that means something to you both. Guests can tell when a ritual was chosen because it seemed expected.

Where does a unity ritual go in the ceremony?

Usually after the rings and before the pronouncement. The vows are done, everyone has exhaled, and the ritual becomes a quiet beat before the kiss. Jumping the broom is the exception and comes at the end.

Whichever of the unity ceremony ideas above you pick, budget two to five minutes for it. Set a small table to one side before guests arrive, and give one reliable person the job of bringing the supplies and taking them home.

A practical word about venues. Open flame, soil, and glass are all things a venue may have rules about, so ask first. Things going wrong on site is also one reason many venues now ask officiants for a business license and proof of liability insurance. Ours are both current, including a $2 million liability policy.

Which of our ceremonies fits a unity ritual?

Our Custom Ceremony is $400 and written from scratch for you, so the unity ceremony ideas you like can be built into the script, with wording that explains the ritual to your guests. It includes one planning meeting, and we attend your rehearsal, which is the right time to practice who pours what and when.

Our Elopement Ceremony is $200 for up to 20 guests and uses a set script with standard vows and a ring exchange. It is meant to be short. If a unity ritual matters to you, ask us which package fits before you book. Payment plans are available on every package, split into as many payments as you like. Both are described on our wedding services page.

Unity ceremony ideas FAQ

How long does a unity ceremony take?

Most take two to five minutes. Sand and handfasting are on the quick end, and a tree planting or a ritual with several family members takes a little longer.

Who buys the supplies for a unity ceremony?

The couple usually does. Bring everything to the rehearsal if you are having one, so you can practice with the real items.

Can we include our children?

Yes. Sand is the easiest, since each child can pour a color. Children can also hold the cord for a handfasting or help water a tree.

Do we have to have a unity ceremony?

No. It is optional and has nothing to do with whether your marriage is legal. Many couples skip it and go straight from the rings to the kiss.

Can we do a unity candle outside?

You can try, but wind is the problem. Put a tall glass cover around the candles, or choose sand or handfasting for an outdoor ceremony.

Planning a ceremony in the Augusta area?

We are a family run team of three officiants serving Augusta, Evans, Grovetown, North Augusta, and Aiken. You can read more about us if you like to know who will be standing next to you. Fees from our ceremonies support the Augusta Birth Center, a local 501(c)(3) nonprofit.

If one of these unity ceremony ideas caught your eye, we would enjoy helping you make it your own. Reach out through our contact page to check your date and ask about payment plans, or read our 5 star reviews on Google first.